So many emotions this week........

As most of you know we have been waiting to get Bella started on a new medication called Enbrel (the injection that will give Bella back some of her life). It is a long process to get the medication because you have to get blood work done and wait for the results to make sure all her counts are high and that she was properly vaccinated. This new medicine also runs the same risks of the chemo injection, it is an immune suppressant medication. So she has to be really healthy to take this medication. So now that we got all the bumps ironed out, we got the insurance to cover it (YEAH), and it arrived last night to our home. It came via Fed Ex in a cooler box, because the medicine has to be kept cold. There was lots of information to read and a long list of instructions for mixing the medication and then injecting it. So, my husband and I jumped in and prepared the injection (it took about 20 minutes from start to finish). Bella watched and learned along with us because she is the type that needs to know all the details too (which we love). As soon as it was time for the injection Bella got really upset and tried to convince her way out of the shot. After 20 minutes if pleading with her we ended up having to restrain her and give her the injection(the hard way). I really thought the cops were going to shop up at my door because Bella was freaking out so bad. We had to give her the injection then because otherwise it would not have been sterile. This is the second time Bella has had a hard time taking her medication. It is hard to see her cry and to see the fear in her eyes. It was heart breaking for me and my husband. The fear of the unknown is what gets Bella every time. It was something new and she just didn't know what she would feel like after the fact. I understand her hesitation, but this medication is necessary to help her live a better life. After it was all over Bella was glad she got the shot and admitted it wasn't as bad as she thought.....she was just scared. So we made it through our first Enbrel injection and hope her MTX injection isn't this intense on Sunday.

I ask myself why Bella was chosen to have this horrible disease and why we have to put our little girl through this? Where we did we go wrong? I took good care of myself when I was pregnant, I feed my kids the best food possible, I limit their processed foods, I make them eat fruits and vegetables and yet my daughter has a disease that causes her so much pain and medical issues. Why can't I take it all away? Why do I have so little control over making her better? So, it my mission to help her in the ways I can........my first goal is to raise awareness for Juvenile Arthritis and help raise money for the upcoming Walk to Cure Arthritis. Now on to the good and exciting emotions of the week, because it isn't all bad....... As you know Bella was chosen to be the Youth Honoree for the Walk to Cure Arthritis on June 7th in Carlisle. She has some really exciting events coming up that she gets to attend and also gets to do a speech/interview. She will get the chance to talk about her Arthritis and how it affects her life. She will get the chance to raise awareness and though she is nervous, I also see the excitement in her eyes as well. I feel that the Arthritis Foundation gave her this wonderful opportunity at the just the right time. Until you live with a disease or medical issue that is life changing, you will know how hard it can affect a person and their family. IT IS TRULY LIFE CHANGING! Bella may not share with all of you the struggles she has each day because she doesn't want to be different, she just wants to be Bella....not Bella with JA. I hope that over the next few months leading up to the walk you will all take the time to come to one of the events she will be speaking at or watch when she is on the news in May and hear her story. Take the information she shares and pass it on so that more people understand the importance of finding a cure for Arthritis. Next Tuesday at 6pm the Camp Hill Giant Community Room Bella will be speaking at the event to Kick off the Walk to Cure Arthritis. Feel free to come support Bella and hear what she has to say. In May she will be interviewed live on ABC 27 news in the morning and I will share that information as we get closer so you can all watch. I am sure that Bella will post all the exciting news coming up soon too.......she told me she wants to tell everyone and it isn't fair that I get to tell all the fun news first.....so that is just my sneak peek for now. Hopefully Bella will get on and post soon! Feel free to join her team for the Arthritis Walk: Team Bella Mia